Irregular blogger......well I am trying

It seems that I am not doing too good of a job at blogging.  When I started this I thought, "I can pop in each day and Blog a few thoughts".  Well, I was so wrong!  First, I am not good at being committed ( I am working on that), second, it does take time and by the time I get home from work, I don't always feel like sharing a few thoughts.  Usually when I get home my mind is numb and thoughts are few and far between.    I have been doing better lately at being more committed.  My quiet time seems more fruitful.  My  tangles in my mind seem to be looser and not so knotted up.  I can think more clearly.  Its funny how I have known for years that Jesus is the  door to all my problems but I look in all the other corners and crevices for answers and He is the last resort.  Why do we do that?  I think its because it sounds too easy.  Just go to Jesus.  He already knows your problems, but talk to Him and let Him handle the mess you are in.  No, we want to run around and murmur and moan and groan,  try all the latest remedies for whatever ails us and THEN we will run to Jesus and wonder what took Him so long to fix our problems.  Next time you are in a mess or just feeling lonely or alone, just turn around and let Jesus take control of all that ails you, He will listen, be there and have an answer for you.  It may not be the answer you want, but it will be the best answer for you.  Go ahead, try it......what have you got to lose?  You can always go back to moaning and murmuring tomorrow if Jesus doesn't work for you today.   Have a good day.... or maybe week....depending on how long it takes me to get back.

Eventually all things work together for the good

things are beginning to smooth out finally.  I once again realize that God does hear all my prayers and does care about all that goes on in my life.  Sometimes He lets us go through things so we can be a sympathetic ear to others.  It has been amazing to me that for a few days I thought that I was literally losing my mind and was about to drop off the deep end and now I can actually see things clearer and feel like I am standing on level ground.  Now, I have a girl at work that is about to fall apart at the seams and she does not know the Lord.  I have talked to her some, but she is not really ready to hear a lot.  She is still in the stage of being wrapped up in herself.  How long do we all stay in that stage and how much quicker could we get out of our pits if we took our eyes off of ourselves?   Once I began to truly seek God it seemed like I began to lift out of the dark cloud that covered me.  I know what you are thinking......well, duh! she should already know that! and I do BUT when you hit the bottom of the barrel and you just don't know how you got there and its all dark and murky, well then its hard to look anywhere but at yourself.  All I can tell you is that the most important thing is to get your eyes off yourself and keep them on Jesus.  I used to say pray for someone else, but this time I was in such bad shape, I could not even pray for myself much less anyone else.  Keep your head up and your eyes up and your heart focused on the things that are not of this world, eventually, and it may take a while, things will turn around.   Have a good week and keep smiling.....a smile always lightens someones day.

Do the tangles ever end?

I am still untangling the cords in my life.  The new meds are helping, at least I am sleeping and beginning to feel like a human again.  My co-workers are not complaining so much about me and my husband says that I my not  so "snappy".   He has been such a rock thrugh all this, just being here and putting up with all my moodiness.  He never complains, he just stands by concerned for me and being here all the while just where and when I need him.
 The best part is that I feel like I am beginning to like myself once more.  I still have days that I have a meltdown but for the most part I am better.   The spiritual part of my wound is getting better also.  I was struggling with going to a wordly doctor instead of someone in church etc. but when I got to my Dr.  appt, the counselor that met  with me stated that she was a Christian counselor and she counselled from a christian view.  If I was not comfortable with that she would turn me over to one of the other counsellors.   Needless to say, I will be staying wtih her as I was wanting a Christian aspect for counselling.  It really was an answet to prayer.  I think that I will be OK now.  Not to say I won't have some rought days ahead but I really know that with Jesus I amy living on the belief that no matter what, God has a plan and it will be better than anything I could imgine.   So keep praying for me and check back, I will try to keep you posted on what God is doing.

untangling takes time.....

Well, since last time....and I know it has been a little time, I have been trying to untangle some things in my life.  Spending more time in prayer and reading my Bible has been a priority and of course when you make a commitment for this it seems all hell ( and believe me it is hell) comes against you.  I have finally taken to going to the chapel at work during my lunch breaks to have some quiet time to read and pray.  It is usually only 20 minutes but still better that the 0 minutes I was having on most days.
I am still working on the worn out part,but I realize that as the spiritual aspect gets better then everything else does too.  I also suffer from some serious depression that I am the worst person in the world to explain away and try to say "oh I can handle this, it will go away soon.....blah,blah....." but it doesn't.  So I have hooked up with a doctor that  really handles these sort of things, not just my family doctor trying to put a bandaid on a gaping open wound. ( He was doing the best he could, he just did not know what to do with me).  So now I am on some real med and seeing a Christian therapist that will hold me accountable to get myself in shape.   I do not mean to make any of this sound trivial for those who have been through or are going through this journey,  I am just getting started and for now it is easier for me to look at it with a lightness, because if I look too deep, it may just scare me to death!
Keep praying for me and offer any suggestions or comments if you would like.  I am up for any help I can get.  I know I am not the only person in the world going through this.  Right now I am going to keep my chin up and my eyes on Jesus.  He alone is able to get me through.....He has the right people here on earth to give me a hand along the way when I need a fleshly touch.  
Remember.....Never be embarassed to ask for help, everyone needs help sometime and the sooner you get help, the quicker you will get back on your feet.
My flat iron cord is untangled and every morning I think about how important it is to keep it untangled.  Do you know that if an electrical cord stays tangled and knotted up it will eventually get breaks in the wires and begin to have shorts in the electrical currents and will not get the energy that it needs to do its job....then before long it will not work at all....and it can even cause a fire and burn down your house.
Who knew that one little tangled cord could do all that?  Just like that cord eventually if your life stays tangled and jumbled,eventually you will expeprience shorts, be unable to work and you may even burn your house down ( well, maybe not really burn it down, but you will make a mess of it).  Untangle the cords,  life will be much easier in the long run.   Life does go on and it does not wait for any of us.....lets get well and in shape mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually so that we will be able to keep up with all the others running the race.   Have a great day...week..or month.